Since the global warming trend hit its peak last July, world temperatures have been continually slipping. While I used to comfortably strut the town in my bulky Speedo, I'm now forced to bundle up.
I know, I know, there was a time last summer when I reported that world temperatures had skyrocketed, and now I'm coming back with an opposing story. It ain't a wishy-washy thing, I'm just flexible. I can admit when I'm wrong, and I can admit when I'm cold... I'm cold now.
It's so cold out that even my polar bear has to wear a scarf. My snowman is bundled up in a coat, hat and some kind of freaky mini-skirt. What does this mean? Snowmen are made of snow, they shouldn't fear it, yet here we are arriving comfortably at our little conundrum.
Are we supposed to be hibernating or evolving or something? I don't think I'm ready for that, I didn't even get a flu shot.
Now, unbelievably, there are days when it even snows. Every night I need a blanket. If I don't eat my food promptly, it gets cold. On the trip out to the car, my nose turns red. I'm not even a reindeer, yet I've got the throbbing red nose. How can this be explained? When I warned of an ice age, I later discovered I was wrong. Now I wonder. Was I really wrong? I mean, was I?
I think the global warming myth can be laid to rest. Unless there's some bizarro land somewhere fictional that has our warmth, like Narnia or Australia, then I think we're all in big trouble. The weather outside is frightful and we don't have a fireplace. Guess it's back to the aerobics for my warmth.
