Last week at a birthday party, Patrick was put in charge of eating some cake. He chose a place to sit, but panicked when he saw a ladybug on the table. He has many phobias and this is one of them. When the grown-ups tried to comfort and assure him, he punched himself in the head and uttered what grownups on hand described as "the most heartbreaking thing" they had ever witnessed.
It's not that we weren't having fun, and it's not like his reaction to the ladybug was any surprise to us. He's shown strong emotional reactions to heights, inclines, deciduous trees, being picked up, shade, light, noise and vegetables, any of which may throw him into a state of screaming terror. We just try to support him, encourage him and help him understand which things deserve caution and which are no big deal.
All that is a fact of our lives, and we take it in stride. We don't understand it, but we accept it. Then again, we don't understand half of what he says and yet we love him just the same.
Still, a reaction is one thing, but his particular reaction was shocking to everyone around.
It wasn't something anyone's ever said to him around the house and it couldn't have come from anyone in his classroom. Experts who have been studying this since it happened have concluded it could only have been a phrase he learned from the playground. His classroom is of the alternative variety where his unique needs, behavior and learning style are addressed amongst children with similar needs, so it couldn't have been learned from them.
His lunch and recess times, however, are taken among the entire school group, and that, we fear, is where he heard it.
We have all worked since then to help him understand that his statement in that moment of sadness and fright was unfounded, but he has said it again in such moments at least three more times since then. Friends, family, and professionals are still working to help him understand that what he said was untrue.
Oh, and in case I didn't already mention it, the thing he said while punching himself, the words that almost made the grown-ups cry... He said, "I'm a stupid boy. I'm a very stupid little boy."
Experts agree, he is nothing of the kind.
Above - As you can see the party had all the festivities one could want, but when it came to the guest appearance of a ladybug, it proved too much for him at that moment. While we can't speak to the roots of his fears, we do know this with no doubt, he is not a "stupid boy."
