 |
Euphemism Confirmed - Hay Indeed for Horses
Posted by Brendan on Wednesday, December 21 @ 22:00:00 PST
Seems there`s something to it after all. |
"Hey" is a great proclamation and one useful in so many situations. In Gary Larson's illustrated documentary series "The Far Side" it was even shown with the translation device from Dog to English that all the dogs ever say, whether at the water bowl or the mailman, is "Hey!"
But some people like to retort that "hay is for horses." I've often heard it, never understood it. Now, just slightly older, wiser and more experienced, I get the joke. Now I just don't appreciate it.
It's also important to point out that the likelihood of a person quipping "hay is for horses" can be directly correlated to the number of wrinkles the person has, and even more so if the wrinkles are "furrowed brow" related. Get it? I'm saying older and grumpier the worse.
 LEFT - So this is what all the fuss is about, huh? Sheesh, with all the hullabaloo you'd think it was more than just grass.
My education on this matter came when I got to meet a horse. I've met horses before but this time I had the chance to ask her about it and watch what she did when I put it near her mouth… and what did I feed her? As it turns out it's hay… Hey, wait a second, that's not even spelled the same!
Now I get it. When I say "hey" these humbugs think I'm saying "hay." Well that's just silly, even I know better. Can't my meaning be derived from context? If a prize toy is snatched by a mean brother of mine, and I yell "hey" could anyone reasonably believe I mean the other kind? I mean, why on earth would I yell "hay"? Utter nonsense!
So the figure of speech holds true, hay is indeed for horses. But if you are in doubt, or worse still, one of those curmudgeonly jerkfaces who say this ridiculous phrase, count this your formal notice, and count this article as an exposé on you people to the world. Your quip is so ridiculous.
ABOVE - Kind of fun, really. What a huge animal. They look dog-sized on TV.
If you know better and still say it, you're an even bigger meanie-head than I thought. If you don't know better, you're a much more difficult simpleton and you need to get smart. I'd suggest school, it works wonders for me.
So let's put this phrase to bed already. It's late and the phrase is as tired as it's advocates are grouchy.
Now if you'll excuse me, I have to get back to Nelly. She's a nag alright, but I like her and she's just crazy about this hay stuff.
ABOVE - Kindly to observe that there are actually about four horses. See, so it isn't just "hay is for horse", but plural, "horses".
* I should also point out to posterity-me that I don't actually say "hey", at least not very often if ever, and never in a way that's come back to irritate me.
|
|
Printer Friendly Page
Send to a Friend
