Posted by Brendan on Saturday, June 25 @ 15:00:00 PDT
Not napping. |
As a grown toddler, I'm not a baby anymore. It's for this very reason I feel inclined to make known my independence and issue autonomous decrees as needed to right the wrongs in the world as I am able. Naptime is one such injustice and one I adamantly demand immediately abolished.
As I said, I'm not a baby any more. sure, I wear a diaper, throw random temper tantrums and speak in fluent gibberish, but that doesn't mean anything. All kidding aside though, as a modestly bigger kid, this is a grownup business here and I'm fit to make my will known and
carry out protests to get my way.
I'm a joker but I'm no clown. I'm able to stand up for what I believe are my own personal rights. When I don't see things in life as being equitable (to me, specifically) I never hesitate to take action. Want earns a holler, need gets a scream, and naptime (which I insist I do not need) garners a toy-oriented sit-in.
LEFT - As if you can't guess, this is me making sure to reject my supposed "nap time".
A sit-in is still a peaceful protest. I don't carry a message-bearing sign or chant anything, instead I just climb out of bed and sit in my bedroom with a mess* of toys as my only companions.
Here's the thing, I'm no longer interested in those nap-type things. I don't feel I need them and if I take one, I'm just sure I'll miss something. Maybe I'd miss a big event and maybe I'd just miss time better spent bonking my toys together. No matter, it's a "something" I'd be in a position to miss, and I just can't be cool with that.
So it is with a heavy heart, though fueled with red hot blood, I hereby decree an official end to naptime. This decree is effective immediately and pertains to every toddler in my jurisdiction named Brendan Alexander, including but not limited to me.
Dominic is exempt from my decree because:
He's grandfathered in
He doesn't seem to mind
He's still a baby and,
I appreciate the quiet when he's down for the mid-day count.
*Sometimes it isn't already a mess, but I promptly disassemble my surroundings to make it one.
EDITOR'S NOTE: It's come to my attention since completing this report that it's thematically similar to "Toddler's Union: Rejects Nap Time
Proposal" at Mike's Zine. Unintended and coincidental, I assure you. Besides, his piece is better and I suspect that he, unlike myself, had help from a grownup to type
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