I just can`t do it, look at him there all wiggling and resisting. |
Since his uber-ballyhoo'd arrival in our hearts and office I've been looking for a way to reclaim some of my stolen attention back from Dominic. One clever way I came up with was to smother him, but he was just too cute.
Now, with attention shifting ever more to his bizarre, infantile antics, my cunning devices have resurfaced. Mine is a viable plan and I wouldn't even be tried as an adult.
But as cute as he was as a crying, wiggling tadpole, he's even more adorable now as a smiling, shrieking pre-crawler. For as defenseless as he seems, his survival instinct has outmatched my pillow toting plot. How does he do it?
He lacks rows of sharp teeth, camouflage or any sort of prickly quills to keep him safe. His nails grow fast and sharp, but his reach isn't so good and I'm looking to have the vet declaw him next Tuesday. Still, it's his happiness, good looks and excitement that hold me back. That and I'm kind of starting to like him, whatever that's all about.
Is this that brotherly love nonsense I've heard so much about? It's strange that he can convince me to put down my weapon without using words, without sending me to my room and without distracting me with candy. A truly amazing skill he has. Worth keeping him around, even if just for observation purposes.
For now I guess he's safe. I still want more attention, so he's not totally in the clear. All I can say is he'd better stop shoplifting my thunder and keep on getting cuter by the day. Otherwise, be advised, I've got a plan at hand most sinister. Sinister indeed, and I'll do it too. I keep the pillow handy even at night. My weapon is under my other pillow, so beware, handsome little primate, beware.
[Several moments of maniacal laughter.]
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