This doesn`t make a lick nor a bite of sense. |
As all readers must know, I am a man deeply entrenched in logic. Concise, measurable, verifiable matters of fact are my bread, butter and jelly. This silly game defies all that, even the jelly.
Chess came to earth over two million years ago when aliens built the pyramids to anchor their space yachts. Ever since, chess has been praised as the greatest game of strategy ever to plague mankind. With the plague part alone, I fully concur.
I'm an expert of very little, (only screaming I think) but my introduction to chess tells me it's even more complicated than checkers, another game that totally escapes me.
We've got horsies, plus-heads, castle tops and about a hundred other pieces. No human could memorize what they all do, of that much I'm certain.
The rules are elaborate and restrictive. No eating the pieces, only use one hand at a time, don't knock pieces on the floor and don't remove an opponent's piece "just because." How else can the game be won?
If a rook challenges my queen, shouldn't I steal it and run off to another room? Pawns are just pawns in my game, can't I make them do anything? They aren't powerless just mindless. Pawns, people, not prawns.
I'm writing this from the bathroom. I've locked myself in here with a couple borrowed pieces from that silly board. They're coming in soon to reclaim them, I just know it.
No logic, no fun, and now I'm living as a fugitive. Silly, I say, mean, illogical and just plain silly.
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