Oh man, check out what this older man* can do! He's like Spiderman. He digs in with his sticky hands and feet and shimmies on up. If I can see it being done, I'm ready to jump in and give it my own shot.
My handlers are a bit concerned about this growing trend of mine. I wanna do it all and try it all and, unlike this genetically altered super-radiation being, I'm not a spider-man. He even had the hand gestures right, complete with homemade sound effects. I lack his size, strength, and agility but can easily match him in reckless abandon. And therein lies the problem.
The parents are calling webless thrill seekers like him a bad influence over me citing my lack of climbing skills as well as the more traditional hazards. When I see cooking I want to cook too. When I see kids jump out of trees I want to jump too. If everybody else was jumping off a bridge would I do it too? Well, I'd obviously try.
I slipped cooking in there out of place hoping you wouldn't notice but, you did. What's so bad about a toddler learning to cook? You've got hundreds of degrees of scalding water and spattering oils all hovering a foot overhead but it all leads up to a tasty meal -- and I love to eat -- so it all should work out with those ends justifying the potentially (if not certainly) disasterous means.
I'm already a copycat kind of monkey ready to monkey-see and monkey-do whatever I see done. Curious George is probably my biggest hero. Is he a bad role model? I rival him in height and as a higher primate my capacity for curiosity has almost got him beat, except for that time he got a paper route, that was pretty advanced even for a bicycle-riding chimp.
To Curious George, Spider Mini-Man, and all grownups with bad habits: I warn you that my era of emulation has arrived! If you see no harm in climbing, swearing, or being mean to people around me, then know that I see no harm in trying all those things myself.
Now, if you'll permit me take my leave I've gotten myself into a real doorjamb and I have no idea how to climb it. I'm going to try though. It's mind over matter and it doesn't matter that my mind is under the terrible burden of confusion. I've seen it done, I know it can happen, and no Alexander deserves to be outshined by a wooden rectangle even if it does hold up the ceiling and divide two rooms. It may be age-old function but I'm new age functionality and failure just isn't an option.
Now, how did that web-slinging sound effect go again?
*Older man? Yes, that's right, just look at him. He's much bigger, older, taller and even quite handsome too.
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