So I learned about this new love barometer called a Love-Me-Not. It's a clever device readily available in any flowered bed anywhere outside. They are available for free as long as you have a speedy exit strategy.
Love is a strong emotion as everyone knows. It's what parents feel for kids, parents ask kids to say they feel for them, and what kids feel for candy. You may call it a vicious cycle but I call it love and there's very little wiggling around it. But is your feeling of love reciprocated? That's where the Love-Me-Not comes into play.
Let's say it comes into "use" rather than "play." The word "play" implies it's a toy or makebelieve, which it isn't. This is a real device that really works as far as I can tell, and I consider myself a master debunksmith.
Find yourself a flower. It will work just fine as long as it can be rent to bits, so plastic is not preferred. Next, alternately declare that "he, she or it loves me" and that "he, she or it loves me not" whilst ripping it petal from petal. When all the petals (or leaves if you must) are haphazardly strewn about your lap and feet you'll have arrived at your answer.
I wanted to see if mac & cheese loved me as much as I love it. What I found out was not only that mac & cheese doesn't love me (I guess in part because I'm lactose intolerant) but also that Love-Me-Nots are very, very fragile.
Should you decide to test your love with one of these money back guaranteed devices be careful what you ask, how you ask it, and how much force you apply in the pursuit of truth. Love may last a lifetime or longer but these poor dismembered blossoms have half the half-life of quilted Kleenex.
Here I've demonstrated all the right things to do with a Love-Me-Not... except that last one where I ate it, that was just bad thinking on my part.
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