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Masked Thief Claims He's Easter Bunny
Posted by Brendan on Thursday, April 22 @ 01:00:00 PDT

I dunno, looks pretty believable-like to me.

Last night a man wearing a bunny mask was spotted in an area home attempting to steal candy and chocolate covered cookies claiming he was the Easter Bunny and that he had simply returned to reclaim his forgotten sweets.


The perpetrator, whose identity has not been disclosed, was spotted in the living room wearing an exceptionally lifelike mask, already holding the candy in his hands. The suspect had already consumed part of a cookie and was futily attempting to unwrap the seasonal and chocolates.

According to authorities Sgt. Mama and lead investigator Daddy-O, the disguise was very thorough but lacked a fluffy tail and trademark bunnyskin coat. Once identified as an imposter the subject was taken into custody without incident.

The thief is believed to be a candy addict who was lured into a life of sugar-frenzied crime after being encouraged to experiment with sweets earlier this month.

Experts suggest that "Chocolate can be a wonderful mood-altering remedy, taken in moderation and not abused," but those afflicted by its pursuit tell a different tale. Their story is one of the delicious pursuit of non-controlled substances like sucrose, high-fructose corn syrup, and even the most controversial of confections, cocoa.

Damages just from this incident alone are estimated in the high dozen-cent range. Formal charges have not yet been filed.



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