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approved contributor


Fiddling With Blinds Forbidden, Fantastic
Posted by Brendan on Sunday, April 11 @ 02:00:00 PDT

I'm sure you've never been forbidden from something and just wanted it that much more, but I sure have. That's me giving you all kinds of credit for being a bigger person than me which, statistically, you are.


Today -- which is most certainly Sunday based on my lack of legitimate content -- I'm speaking of my infatuation with blind tampering. I'm a tamperer, no two ways about it, but this new favorite subject of interference is something quite enticing.

I'm sure at some point in your mischief career you were told not to fool with the blinds and you complied, so I will let you in on what you're missing.

  • They make clicking noises when slapped around.

  • They juggle around as commanded by Newton's laws plus gravity.

  • It gets a rise out of those devoted to keeping them at rest.

  • Walking through them is akin to flight as you emerge from the clouds and can finally see. (Greatly assists in playing flighted super hero.)

    Sure, I've been told it could damage them, but I don't care, they can just take the difference out of my pay. I don't actually get pay so they'd have to address that first and that would be okay too. I see bashing the blinds as normal wear and tear.

    The best part of it all is that Patrick has been told three thousand times to stop messing with the blinds and I've only been told like seven hundred times so I've still got plenty of time to get it out of my system.





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