You sad, endangered, mangy bear. |
Of the few remaining panda bears in existence, I have now seen one. While I had already seen a good many in plush form of various size and quality, I was unprepared for how big and mangy it would actually be.
Before the naysayers can strike up a whinny I must say that although I've reported seeing things I later discovered I hadn't -- such as Nessie, the Loch Ness Monster -- let me emphasize that I really did get to see a real live panda. I'm not talking about one of those lesser pandas either, the ones that look like rosey raccoons, but a Giant Panda; and I do mean giant.
If you ever see one you'll spot it right away. They have two black eyes, presumably from recent fights, and of course they look like stuffed pandas, only bigger. This wasn't a creepy animatronic panda like those giant rats you see at Chuck E. Cheese nor some guy sporting a panda suit. I saw the real McCoy and I have to say it was pretty disappointing.
The experience alone is (as you'll note by this article) something "to write home about," but the bear itself really wasn't. If I had thousands of visitors a day -- which I do -- I'd be groomed spotless (which I am). For an internationally acclaimed celebrity his personal hygene habits left much to be desired. And this is coming from a journalist of all people. He had black fur for sure, but the part you'd expect (at least I did) would be pristine white was actually a dull dirty brown. Poor, poor mangy, endangered beast.
Fortunately their numbers are making a recovery. I heard they can't survive in the wild because they lack horns, to quote my informant "if they were horny, they'd be fine."
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