Oh man, this ain`t easy. |
I'm no stranger to stairs, hey who is? When I saw the grand-daddy of them all at Aunt Tricia's, I knew I had to conquer it, even if for no reason other than because it was there.
Ever climbed a teeny tiny mountain? Call it a hill if you like, but you probably have. Ever flown or drove over a mountain? Again, you probably have. Same deal for me, I've climbed up and down small stairs (my record is two) and I've been carried up and down much bigger ones. With no special training or equipment I set out to take this flight of steppies head-on.
Against popular advice, I broke away from base camp and headed for my challenge. Rescue crews stopped me within the first five stairs. Undeterred, I regained my strength and headed up again, to again be stopped. Within about ten tries it was discovered I wouldn't rest until she was beaten. Finally, a local Sherpa decided to spot me all the way to the summit.
The vantage was breathtaking and well vacuumed. Of course, from there it was necessary for a rescue crew to haul me back down. Back down, you say, hmm? That gave me my next inspiration. I resolved to get back down all on my own.
Again against popular advice, I broke away for another stair expedition... okay, more like 15 stair expeditions. Climbing spotters couldn't keep up with my determination. Once at the summit, I couldn't ever find safe passage back down. With a pair of stairs, it's easy. You just head down and toboggan it. Sure you slip a bit, but you don't have far to go. As you know, stairs are thigh high, so the notion of face sledding down a 45 degree slope of carpet was less than appealing.
I finally found a solution (patent pending). I had to go down backwards. Since I'm not a mom, I don't have eyes in the back of my head, so this proved tricky. The hardest part was that once I began my descent I could see the summit again right before my eyes. With it staring me in the face, I couldn't resist the allure so I kept climbing back up. Down three stairs, up three stairs. It's a vicious cycle.
Just like that crazy balloonist who wouldn't give up until he circled the globe, I persisted until I got all the way up, and all the way back down. Only real difference between me and him was that Russia never grounded me for suspicion of spying.
The lesson is simple kids, don't give up on your dreams. If I can conquer my stairs, you can conquer yours, whatever your stairs may be.
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