Man, so busy in this place. |
True to the tradition of great explorers, I have found a new land inhabited by strange people. As the first to proclaim discovery, I claim this "Seattle" for my own.
These people are so peculiar with their savage ways. They ride trains in the sky, live in enormous beehives of glass and race around like rats... I just coined that, by the way, "racing like rats."
We ventured southward by motor coach. We arrived early so two-hour parking was free. From there, my expedition crew set out with ample supplies for a safari of that duration and a flag with which to claim what is rightfully mine.
It's amazing how much money these savages charge for everything from their primitive monorail to their barbaric ice cream cones and cotton candy. They are mad with their ways.
They play wreckless games with cars jabbing at pedestrians while they honk and utter heated words at each other the likes of which I've never heard before... except on TV.
Not just are their manners outlandish, but you should see the attire. These poor souls are dressed for subjugation. The dads wear silk leashes knotted tight about their necks. The moms rarely wear pants, but instead outfits designed to chill them as they scurry for their lattes.
And the taxmen were relentless! On every corner there was another one, all dressed in the same uniform of rags with signs saying things like "why lie, need beer." What kind of social programs do they fund in this place?
All savages carry visible weapons. The men have large leather cudgels in the shape of boxes. They have handles on them and carry them in one hand, ready to swipe at anything they need to on a moment's notice. There we get the name "brief case." The ladies have spiked shoes that can jab and stab. These people are terrifying. Thank heavens I brought my flag.
My foray was complete and none too soon. Between the drive and the exploration, it was nap time and I was getting a touch grouchy. Promptly I dubbed this newly discoverd land "Brendania" and headed back to safety. I'm not sure where the name came from, it pretty much just came to me.
Tour packages and really good deals on real estate will be coming soon. We'll be going back to map it out before too long. Couldn't afford to buy one there, so we'll just chart it ourselves... Gosh, thinking back I really hope we remembered to leave the flag there.
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