Since it works so well as a babysitter many parents have elected to let the Hypno-Box™ take over their job as well. It's much easier than raising a child and the parents never know what a bad job it does, so everybody wins. In those cases parents just send in an attendant every two or three days to add more gruel to the feeding troughs and maybe tidy up a bit, but that's optional. No need to sweat over the raising of the kids, after all there's always public school for that.

Then you've got your cartoons... oooohh, sweet senseless cartoons. Hey, it's not like I'm going to teach myself Kung-Fu or how to race cars through crowded city streets. If it wasn't for Saturday mornings, I probably wouldn't even know what a gun is. Let's be thankful for all the educational opportunities afforded here. Also, since it is a self-attending system, I can choose to watch whatever I want and no one gets in my way and says "that's too violent" or "shouldn't she be wearing something?"

What's better is, you don't even have to move to watch it to it's fullest power. The kindly inventors gave us a remote control. When it comes to having a remote, I say, "Hands off." If I have to put it in my mouth to protect it I'm going to. I must have exclusive control of what the box tells us, and at what volume. Technically, I also control if it tells us in Spanish. It's gotten so bad that just holding it makes me foam at the mouth like a maddened dog of the best kind. I don't think that's a desired consequence, but it is a sweet, sweet side affect.

If you love your children, show them. Do it with television. Put down that dull book, stop trying to go out in the yard and play catch, just plug the kids in and let the joy flow through on it's own. Take a moment now and listen to what the Hypno-Box™ has to say to you, and remember, prices may never be this low again. This may be your last chance to get in on these incredible savings. You'd look better in a new car. You can lose weight fast. And of course, the American people all support the war effort. Act now, operators are standing by.