This is what a true wagon looks like when it comes to pick you up for dinner. |
Easily the single best experience we had in all of our many Montana adventures was the evening we spent just east of Billings in the fine company of Pappy and his family at the Western Romance Company Cowboy Dinner. It's a horse-drawn wagon ride, an evening of authentic cowboy cooking, and fellowship with the single best people we met on the whole of our trip to Montana.
We've never hesitated to tell the often-painful truth about the people we meet along our many travels, and I've already said that the people we met in Montana were almost universally the kindest, warmest people we've ever met. Billings was already an exceptional town for us, but the good folks at Pappy's Western Romance Adventure Dinner were hands-down the best of the best (of the best).
Unlike many of the things I proclaim emphatically, in this case, there are indeed two ways about it. If you want the full experience of the cowboy roundup, you can do the normal Western Romance Dinner like we did, which is what I'm going to talk about, or you can have a Happy Pappy Holdup, which isn't scary at all, but fun, because it's a good old fashioned holdup, where he and his boys will catch up with your tour bus and get cowboy-style all over your ladies… that part I can't speak for cuz I ain't got no lady unless you count my mama.
On a side note I'd like to say that if you're a tour operator yourself and you're heading through Billings, you'd be plain crazy not to check it out. They can do a simple holdup, a full dinner deal, or almost anything else you can imagine. And if you want to know more about that, check them out, drop them a line and see what you can arrange to get your own Happy Pappy Holdup for your guests. But let's just cover the Western Romance Dinner for now, since that's what we did, and what we know best.
Now let's get back to it.
Wagon Meet N' Greet
Finding the place is super easy, as it's right off the exit (and the first two rights, swinging you back down right next to the freeway) and from there you meet the crew and start getting warmed up for the big event. Show up early, because early is better than late, you can bask in the afternoon sun, decompress from your day, and get into a good head space for the magic experience you're about to have.
Mount Up & Ride Out to the Round Up
You'll see the horse drawn wagon ride up to you, and Pappy will greet you in true cowboy form. I mean it, the guy is really a real cowboy. He doesn't just look the part he is the part. So much so that when Hollywood came looking for cowboys, he was found. My good friend Happy Pappy was one of the cowboys in the bestest cowboy movies ever made, "Far & Away," "A River Runs Through it," "Legacy," and "Ballad of Little Jo," just to name a few. Happy Pappy, being a real cowboy and all, makes sure you get to sit in the wagon and ride out with full cowboy detail, out-rider and all. That makes for a really superb beginning.
Explore the Camp
Once you arrive in camp, and it takes a bit because it isn't even in sight of where you park, you get to climb down and check out the cowboy camp. There's a bunch of different wagons, a tent where the cooking happens, and some horsey-type animals just hanging out.
Play Yerself Them Horseshoes
Hang out, unwind a bit more, and maybe play some games, like horseshoes. Hey, think about it, if you're a cowpoke, you don't have a whole lot of spare nouns laying around, so you use what you got, and believe me, you got horseshoes. Maybe drink some lemonade at this time if you're thirsty, cuz lemonade always helps you get in a good place.
Settle In for Dinner
Once you've had a good time to socialize and unwind, and maybe play some horseshoes, it's time to settle in for dinner. You head on up to the cook and get whatever pleases you.
ABOVE: If this ain't a genuine cowboy dinner, I don't know what is.
Chow On Down
We had steak, the most awesome beans ever, fruit, potato salad, and fry bread, which is like a biscuit, except it's socially acceptable to bury it in sugar and eat it like that. We had a meal that simply couldn't be beat, and even us youngsters stuffed ourselves to the gills, because we were hungry, and it ideally hit the spot.
We munched, munched and munched some more, and meanwhile, Pappy started strumming his guitar (though I think they called it a "GHEE-tar").
ABOVE: Face full of food and happiness, and ears full of finest cowboy music, as you can see on all accounts.
Revel in the Music
As you eat, you're treated to authentic cowfolk music, like humans played back when they were cows, I think. Not sure how cows can play guitars (or GHEE-tars,) but I had enough food in my face to take it on faith. You think of an old cowhand tune, Pappy knows it, and sometimes, Jonathan jumps in with his harmonica. What an experience.
ABOVE: Pappy sang his sometimes-sad cowboy tunes while we ate, drank and did be merry. Wonderful all around.
Chat with New Friends
The Western Romance Dinners aren't put on for just a couple people, typically, so there's always sure to be some new people around for you to chat with. For a fun game, try to guess if they're from Minnesota or Tuscaloosa. I played the game and lost. Turns out my guy was my brother from my own house. Guess I should have seen that loss coming.
Pet the Pretty Horses
If you finish eating quick enough, you'll have time to grab one of the wranglers and spend a minute petting the ponies. Turns our horses don't mind being called ponies at all, even though that would be pretty insulting if I was a horse. Nope, they don't speak a lick of English, you might as well be calling them a hornless unicorn for all they know. If you approach them right, and with proper supervision, you can pet them and maybe even sit on one for a picture like we did.
ABOVE: Horses are not only good for pulling wagons, but also for petting.
ABOVE: The two of us still were barely enough to hold the horse down to the ground. Normally it takes a full-sized cowboy to keep them firmly on the ground so we were pretty proud we held that ol' girl in place.
Back on the Wagon
Once everyone's done singing, scarfing and socializing, it's going to be getting dark and so everybody hops back on the wagon. You get almost two miles of mosey trotting as the sun starts setting on the faces of the people you love to think about what a great day you just had, .
ABOVE: As we headed back for the evening, with the sun setting to the west, the full-on cowboy experience was still in full force.
Ride Off Into the Sunset
And because it's done and it's that time of day, you get to do as the cowboys do, ride off into the sunset, full, happy and dare I say a bit tired from all the excitement. Once back to the cars they'll help you carefully disembark, shake your hands, ask you how much you loved it, and you'll tell them because it's unforgettable. You even get to wave bye-bye as Pappy rides back off to wherever it is that cowboys go after riding off into the sunset.
ABOVE: On the ride back to our reality, the silhoutte from sunset said it all... we had a great time.
Fall Instantly Asleep in the Car
And then, of course, you get in the car and, as is always true for me, it all becomes a blur.
Cowboy Dinners require reservations, so call (406-348-2048) as far in advance as possible to book yours. They don't run every night, and some nights are sold out, so invest the time to make sure your plate is secure. And as for the price, well, we've paid more per plate for lukewarm food on a scenic train, and all we got then was motion sickness. The food is excellent, the ambiance is one of a kind, and the people who run it are just the best folk you'd ever hope to meet.
Learn more about them or book your dinner today at www.WesternRomanceCompany.com.
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