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The Dark Ages Are Today
Posted by Brendan on Sunday, December 21 @ 01:00:00 PST
Even here, early in the afternoon, there is just darkness... okay, and wind too. |
For a long time I thought it might just be me. But now, more than ever, I'm convinced that the days of light are gone. Even the daytime itself may be gone. It seems to me from here on out we're committed to the dark.
I noticed it first a couple of months back. I used to go to bed and rise by the light of day. Then I would get up or go to bed around dark. I figured I was sleeping less just as many people do as they age. As weeks passed though it got to be worse and worse to the point that it would get dark hours before I would sleep and remain dark another hour after I had arisen.
In an effort to be objective, I checked the local paper this morning. Sunrise was at 7:54 and sunset is at 4:21. That's only 8 hours and 28 minutes of daylight. When will this end? Will it ever recover? To top it off, the eight hours we will get are overcast here in Seattle. And since we're so far north if the sun does make it through the clouds, it will barely get up over the trees before it starts falling again. Did I mention the trees? Oh yeah, there's lots of trees here, so it takes it even longer to get light, and makes it dark even earlier.
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 Everything I've learned is coming apart at the seams. Like, "The sun rises in the east and sets in the west." What? No it doesn't. It rises in the southeast and sets in the southwest. Am I crazy or did something go seriously wrong?
While my porcelain sheen is grateful for the safety that comes with being kept in the dark, I'm worried about the sun. Is it sick? Did it cut back to part-time? Is this the distancing that is so common right before a nasty break-up?
Doesn't light equal life? And isn't life supposed to be a good thing? Maybe I should dump some Perplexing budget on lamps or invest in a big fake sun like the ones they use on a Hollywood film set. Something, man, I don't know, but I need some light.
I've heard the sun has been moonlighting in South America under the name Del Sol, but I think we can afford to win it back. Let's start new contract negotiations and see what we can get settled. Is that how it works? Let's see if we can resurrect beach life. After all life's a beach and what good is being there if there's no sun of a beach? While unsure of what I just said I think you can nod your head with me and say, "exactly."
Let's do this.
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