This is the happy we feel when eating at the Staggering Ox. |
A decades-old fixture of Helena, the Staggering Ox was recently voted by MAXIM Magazine* as creating one of the top 3 sandwiches in the country (for “The Nuke".) Our little stop off proved more to us than that they know their way around the kitchen. We found they know the way around the whole experience of people dropping by for food, fun and an array of stimu-tainment ranging from musical to visual with many stops in between.
The sandwiches aren’t just unique, they’re downright unheard of. They feature the famous Clubfoot™ bun, which is a federally registered trademark. Half the items on the menu are trademarked™ and the other half probably should be.
Being the kids we are, we were delighted to find that we could get hot sandwiches made with the crusts cut off. No small feat when you consider it’s nothing more than a Clubfoot roll basically gutted to the spongy inner goodness. They’re baked, cheesy, optionally saucy, and perfect for even the blandest tastes in your party… and that’s important when you read the next paragraph.
Dad skipped the Nuke™ , Three-Mile-Island™ , Mount Saint Helens™ , Saddam Slammed™ , and the Yo’ Mama Osama™ , and went straight for the Chernobyl Melt Down™. It was interesting to watch him force sweat to roll down the back of his head, as if on command, strictly by eating a sandwich he described as “super nummy”… I may be paraphrasing a bit there, but he did like it. He loves spicy food, but something tells me this one might have snuck up on him.
The decoration of the place is great, and it’s tough to do good work when you’re looking to fill a space as cavernous as theirs. This place is seriously huge. They do it with an honest to goodness art gallery, a 20-foot tall tree made of recycled artistic thingy-doos, and by basically making the place mad enough even your most attention deficited junior can spend an easy hour trying in vain to take it all in.
And that’s nothing compared to the live music.
We didn’t stick around for the music, though they do have plenty of it. For us it was time to head back out on the open road, drive a good ways, and bed down for the night some 10-odd blocks away at our hotel. A meal like that really makes a weary traveler feel at home. Also works well for cranky travelers, trust me.
More than music and major foodage, they’ve got ambiance aplenty, an on-site art gallery, and free Wi-Fi to boot, so whether you’re looking to get in touch with your artistic side, or just stay in touch with your email, you’ve got your bases covered.
And that MAXIM win? Yes, it’s a real accolade they genuinely won, but the sub-first-place ranking cheated them. The winner was some joke restaurant that put a whole meal on a bun, French fries and all, and passed it off as edible. The things these sammysmiths get away with, I’ll never understand.
You can check them out for early lunch, lunch, late lunch or dinner at the original location in Helena, Montana at 400 Euclid Ave, or in Billings or Missoula, Montana, as well as in Spokane, Washington. Check the website www.StaggeringOx.com for directions and hours, and a calendar of upcoming events and performances too.
ABOVE: In case you needed a reason to visit beyond the unique greatness of the food, consider the outrageously outlandish decorations... that or the fact they have all kinds of local and touring music numbers that play live almost constantly. Either way it's your call, but it's worth it even if just for the food.
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