This is our guidebooks, as well as how we pronounce Puerto Rico. |
In my culture we have many customs but, if you ask people who are not from my culture, you'll find that their experience of American customs is very different. Thing's like body cavities, racial profiling and all kinds of assorted awkwardyness. What's odd though is I flew more than half a day, but never crossed these "customs" clowns.
I believe they exist, these "customs agents," even though I haven't experienced them myself. It's a lot like global warming, which I believe in, even though my experiences are less than scientific.
I assume a "customs agent" is somebody who makes sure my habits and customs are inline and appropriate to whatever it is they should be… but that doesn't explain why nobody asked for my passport, to see my travel papers, or even interview me as to the nature and purpose of my trip.
Sure, we went through the rigmarole with the TSA and NSA, but they were just making sure I didn't have explosives tucked in the liner of my diaper. There haven't been any attacks on airlines since that one, bad day, but still, let's harass the sphincter unto clenching for even the likes of small children. Don't get mad at me people, these are your tax dollars at work.
I've flown before, but never this long, and never even that I remember, nevertheless, I can assert that I've never experienced a lack of customs agents like this before. We took three planes over a period of almost 17-hours, and yet we never saw a single person who wanted to search our bags for anything more than sharp plastic, of which I'm happy to report we had painfully little.
Unused diapers are not sharp, though soiled ones can be deadly.
It turns out that when you travel to Po-We-Go from the United States you can do so without a passport, visa or anything more than your own driver's license, eticket confirmation number, and the certainty of knowing that your bags did not leave your control between the time you packed them and the time you boarded the plane.
Now let's just hope our bags show up along with us. Three planes, two transfers and two dates on the calendar equal a bad situation for keeping possession of your luggage, so I'll keep my fingers crossed, and maybe my toes as well on that return trip home.
Above - How we pronounce Puerto Rico... as Po-We-Go.
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