 Is it more strange to be shy or to hide inside a box of diapers? You decide. |
I've spent the majority of my life dedicated selflessly to the outward expression of every little thing that is whatever it is that makes up my being. I've always spoken my mind, shared my learnings and spread whatever wisdom that's come across the table of my life, but now my myth is dispelled. The teachers have burnt my bridge of lies, I'm actually withdrawn.
I was able to keep the lie alive a good long time. All around the house, no matter how many of my siblings are on hand, I've been perfectly outgoing. I take toys, beg toys, and smack in the heads of as many as needed when I can't get those toys I insist are mine.
It's not always easy, but at the same time, it's always easy and I am as outgoing as needed. In fact, I'm the family clown as much as the selfish family beggar.
But now I'm found out. As it turns out, when I'm at school, it's not the same story, and my family just learned this recently. They found it odd, but a recent parent-teacher meeting, it was disclosed that I'm terribly shy when it comes to being around other kids.
I went to a Yoda class last week -- it might have been a "yoga class," but I've never heard of Yoga, so I'm pretty sure it was Yoda -- and my father-type got to see it first hand. Sure enough, the class was as good as it could have been, but I just wouldn't partake.
Odd, odd, odd indeed… or is it?
No matter how much coaxing I endured, I just wouldn't put my feet together, bend in floppy ways, or talk. Worse still, I only reluctantly did the spider-walk and kangaroo-hops across the balance beam. I didn't learn the first thing about yoga or yoda, but my dad did learn that I really am somehow, inexplicably shy.
I can't say it works, how a boisterous, outgoing kid in the household community becomes a shy introvert in the context of the greater world, but I can tell you that it's sadly true. I'd like to be a vivacious live wire, but apparently it's just not yet to be.
So pay no mind to what the teacher-folk have said, and instead look to me to be the kindly, funly, outgoing kiddo of the parenting humor column world. Also, while we're at it, pay no mind to the man behind the curtain… Ha ha, seriously, don't look back there. It ain't pretty, but it is a bit revealing.

Above - Adorably cheesy grin or no, I'm just shy enough that hiding inside a box of diapers seems like an appropriate thing to do. It's odd, especially when you consider I've been in school for like two years already and there's always tons of opportunity to get out and be myself in public. Yeah well, what are ya gonna do?