In case you can`t see it right away, check me out, baby, I`m Buzz Lightyear! |
For as long as I can recall, I've been a big fan of all things Buzz Lightyear, and I've myself even wished to be one of him. I don't mean one of his kind, as a Star Command cadet, per se, but as an actual, factual Buzz Lightyear. Today, in accordance with my wishes, it would seem, my wishes, assertions and insistences have finally become true in falsifiable ways… Falsifiable, yes, but still proven very real and true.
I am Buzz Lightyear, baby, so bow down to the powers of my Star Command prowess!
I've had, as my favorite toy, a small idol I've worshiped against the advice of God himself, for more years than I can recall, which happens to be about two. I've played with it, wandered with it, and slept with it too. I've even been given bigger Buzzes of Lightyear, only to still favor this little one, calling it my "baby Buzz" and always reverting to it at nighty and naptimes alike.
What can I say, it's my "baby Buzz" and I love it. It's marred up beyond belief, scratched half-beyond recognition, and loved doubly-beyond belief… It's my Buzz.
Last year, at Halloween, I actually got to meet a Buzz Lightyear. The kid was kind of a jerk, but he still let me have my picture taken, and I'm still eternally grateful for it, despite the fact that this particular "only child" has a handful of lessons to learn before he can take CEO position of any but the most corrupt of company.
Who can teach him such lessons? I would argue it's Buzz Lightyear, but that's a no matter. Really, it's a secondary consideration and no such one we need to discuss today.
So today, after fully a year of demand, after fully ten billion requests, I have become the man him's-self. I am Buzz Lightyear.
Ain't it cool?
Today I have the power, not just to request that all things right and just be asserted, but to force these obvious, black and white decisions to be made throughout the cosmos, and to ensure that right remains right, wrong remains wrong, and ambiguity shall forever fail to exist in-betwither.
Because I am Buzz Lightyear of the Star Command.
I know this because, when I ask/demand that his cartoon be shown to me, I don't ask for "Buzz" or "Buzz Lightyear" but rather "Buzz Lightyear [of the] Star Command"… Do you realize what an impossible verbal request that is at my stage of age and development? I wouldn't demand it were it a matter of inconsequence, but it's of highest importance.
And today, as these photos shall show you, I am indeed, myself, that very same Buzz Lightyear. To infinity and beyond indeed, baby, you guys had better recognize my powers. I've got a laser cannon on my wrist. Check it, don't wreck it, I'm here to stay, baby.
Above - It wasn't an easy badge to earn, but I put in my years of begging to earn this merit-costume, and as this picture confirms, I did duly become the one and only Buzz Lightyear whom I've so sincerly coveted all these years. Yeah, people, check me out. I'm Buzz Lightyear. Man, what a day for me!
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