Baby Captain America shows off his huge, foam boobies. |
In this, our final installment of this year's Halloween costume special report series, I'll cover the real, actual and final costumes we've chosen from among the many options available on the market. There are so many great choices out there, but for us, based in no small part on the movies we watched this year, we chose to be superheroes. And not just any kind of superheroes, but superheroes with boobies!
We considered requesting sponsorship from a variety of costume providers, but in the end decided that editorial freedom was worth more than the cost of a quarter-dozen outfits. Once we saw the cost of the costumes, however, we kind of changed our minds, but by then it was too late. Our hearts were set and time had grown too short.
We hit the store, hit a second store, and then a third before we finally found the mix of costumes needed to satisfy our ridiculous series of demands to deck us out in super attires of our choosing. Even though I thought I wanted to be "Rock Guy"* from the Fantastic Four, turns out my parental-handler Daddy knew me better than I even knew myself.
Left - Once the novelty of donning our superhero costumes wore thin, we mixed things up a bit and tried on one another's costumes. That's something you'll never see in the comic books to my knowledge. Dominic loved wearing eldest brother Patrick's Batman costume, but it didn't stop him from tripping over the length of the legs and cape... hmm, perhaps that's the reason Captain America never wears a cape.
So here's how it happened: I'd settled on The Rock Guy, but after seeing and trying on a Spiderman costume, my mind was remade afresh. Yeah, I'm a freak for Spiderman, what can I say. And, as it turns out, my dad's favorite hero as a kid** was also Spiderman, so it's probably a genetic thing.
Patrick looked at his choices too, and considered them carefully. He went as far as to consider a few different choices, but in the end, he also chose in accordance with his dad's wishes. See it's weird, I know, but Patrick has a different dad than me and Dominic. Isn't that something? Anyhow, his dad is all about Batman, and that was likewise imparted genetically to Patrick whose ultimate superhero choice was entirely of his own making... he would be the great Bat.
He wanted the padded booby variety too (that also had portions of the costume that light up) but the additional cost was just too much. We were already nearing the big one-oh-oh for the three of us, so it didn't make sense to keep jacking up the price for outfits we'd probably only wear a couple hundred times.
Above - Maybe it was the costumes taking control of us, but once in full garb, all we could do was wrestle with one another for power. I tried to take on that crazy baby Dominic, but with the limited vision afforded by my Spidey mask, the best I could do was try to keep him off of me, and even in that regard, I was not entirely successful, as you can see.
When it came to baby Dominic, it was a bit trickier. His favorites aren't as clearly defined so he wasn't nearly as decisive as we were. By the time Patrick and I had tried on and signed off on our costumes, Baby-D was just getting warmed up. Whether he was going to be a Power Ranger, Wolverine, Superman or Harry Potter was up in the air, and we were getting hungry.
Buzz Lightyear is Dominic's all-time favorite superhero and his favorite toy by miles and miles -- one might even say from infinity to beyond! But, as it turns out Daddy and Miss Mama-Lady had a hard time figuring out exactly what it was Baby-D was asking for; you see, he uses the same word for "Superhero" as he does for "Buzz." Complicating matters further Buzz is so popular (or is he washed up as a hero?) that we couldn't find a Buzz costume on the racks. Ultimately, I think the color scheme played into Dominic's final choice... Buzz Lightyear and Captain America they're not so different. True, Buzz has that cool spaceman's helmet and turillian carbon alloy glider wings, but that Captain America, he's got a skull cap with wings and a number of 5-point stars on his gettup and that's pretty cool too. Still, I think D believes he is dressed as Buzz Lightyear; silly baby!
Above - Whether you think we're dancing like at the end of an Adam West Batman fight sequence, or just getting ready to dig in to battle afresh, witness the inherent joy of our frolics and see how fun we find these; our final choices of costumes.
It's funny because as much as we try to ask him who he's dressed up as, he gives us the same answer; "Ba-ba." That could mean Buzz and it could mean Superhero. Whatever, fine, he's happy so we're happy.
So this year, despite all our great experimentations and attempts to find something really strange and unique we settled on what I now realize are just about the most popular of all the costumes sold this year. What can I say, popular is popular for a reason... it's because everybody likes them, ourselves included.
Above - Even though I didn't know it at the time, upon review of my photo, I now see that I'm able to shoot webs from my costume. My goodness, I knew these getups cost a fortune, but I had no idea that they afforded such true hero powers! I think I'll go climb up some furniture or something!
And we're not just heroes, we're heroes with -- as I like to grab and scream out -- "Boobies!" sometimes adding, "I've got boobies!"
What can I say, I know what they are, and now, with due thanks to my padded foamy "muscles" (as Daddy-O likes to keep suggesting as a "correction") I've got them myself. They're squishy and funny, so I guess I can understand why I'm not allowed to play with them in the real world, but when it comes to my costume, good luck stopping me, these are my boobies, and me and the brothers are booby heroes, no two ways about it.
* My handlers keep correcting me, telling me that "Rock Guy" is actually called "The Thing", but I know a lot of things in my life, and when I ask the parental handler folks to bring my "the thing", they never seem to know what I mean. After watching the movie a bunch of times, I decided instead to call him "Ben", but they didn't make that connection either, so I'm back to calling him "Rock Guy".
** Although Spiderman was indeed a favorite of Daddy-O's when he was a kid, I have since learned that Spidey is still his favorite from all the many choices. Good taste, Daddy-O, good taste.
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