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Op / Ed
 Brother Always Pushy, Finally Pays Off
Monday, September 27 @ 02:00:00 PDT
Whether it's toys, his agenda or the schedule of events, no one pushes harder than my senior brother Patrick and I've finally found a way to make lemonade from this bitter talent of his.
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 A Word on My Anachronisms
Friday, September 24 @ 03:00:00 PDT
Every now and again we have to run a piece for the benefit of my future self. If you're after raging humor this is not for you, but if you want to know the little stuff about me, you're in luck.
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 How Do You Mean 'Duck'?
Tuesday, September 21 @ 02:00:00 PDT
Listen buddy, I hardly know you, but when someone tells me "duck" I take it mightily seriously. You said it, I heard it, so tell me what this duck business is all about.
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 Prince and the Pee, Still Slept Okay
Saturday, September 18 @ 01:00:00 PDT
About the only thing I've learned for sure in my long, dragging months wiggling the face of God's tarmac earth is that I can sleep under any circumstance and over any surface.
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 I'm a Little Teapot Short and/or Stout
Wednesday, September 15 @ 01:00:00 PDT
Ignore Dominic's wiggling and Patrick's screaming, I've got a great show right here (old) folks. I've practiced this (in my head) for a good fifteen seconds and I'm ready to go... Did I mention I'm a little teapot?
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 Are You a Pelican Or a Pelican't
Sunday, September 12 @ 03:00:00 PDT
I apologize to my readers who are peoples, non-animals or birds of the non-pelican variety. This goes out to you deep billed and down trodden birds.
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 Fair Game Unfair; Sunk Money Not Balls
Friday, September 10 @ 03:00:00 PDT
We had a swell time at the Evergreen State Fair last Monday in Monroe. There were plenty of highlights and lowlifes, but no combination so rich and poor as the unbearable ball toss. I say unbearable because it's impossible to win the bear.
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 Think I Joined a Rock Band
Thursday, September 09 @ 03:00:00 PDT
We got together for our usual publicity pictures yesterday but something was very different; and I couldn't quite put my finners on it. We had drums and an electric guitar. Did someone sign me up for a rock band?
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 Net Fishing Illegal, Net Babysitting Okay
Sunday, September 05 @ 03:00:00 PDT
How did fish get better rights than me? You can't go out and fish with a net because it's too easy to conquer the Mr. Bubbles of the world but, net babysitting, which is also far easier, is still okay, as each of my ten lanky toes can attest.
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 New(s) Reporter May Have Mastered 'Nor' Usage
Saturday, September 04 @ 02:00:00 PDT
As a tutlesome mentor there's little more I can hope for my junior brother in journalism than to use commas and semicolons correctly except to use "nor" properly. Well, it would be nice if he could talk and throw the ball back, but using "nor" correctly is a good first step until he takes his first step.
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