 HR Clears New Reporter for Hire
Thursday, December 11 @ 01:00:00 PST
Via videoconference, Baby-X was officially hired this week. Hiring was approved by our Perplexing human resource department and I personally extended the official offer.
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 McDonalds Introduces the 'French Fry'
Saturday, December 06 @ 03:00:00 PST
Light meat, dark meat, and even mystery meat, special sauce, no extra charge; McDonalds, long famous for their cutting edge décor and stunning Playlands has outdone themselves with their newest menu item, the French fry.
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 Receding Gums Pointedly Ouchy
Friday, December 05 @ 01:00:00 PST
Back in the blissful ignorance of my fading youth I lived free of care and free of pain. I was constantly confused, though it seemed normal at the time. I didn't worry about everyday trivialities like receding hair and receding gums.
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 Economy's Down, I Got Yer Easy Money
Thursday, December 04 @ 03:00:00 PST
Don't let unemployment rates, flailing investments and crooked swindlers get you down. No siree, no ma'am! Step right up, because you look like a lucky individual and I'm just itching to give some money away.
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 Infant Infantry Raises Questions
Saturday, November 29 @ 06:00:00 PST
As an American born and raised I feel it's my duty to serve my country. If that means killing or dying in a strange land for a cause, even ones other than self defense, then I say "Huh? Um, okay, I guess."
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 Kitchen Burglar/Vandal Caught Red-Handed
Wednesday, November 26 @ 01:00:00 PST
For weeks now someone has been going through the kitchen stealing food and leaving behind a mischievous mess. This isn't just disorganized, but outright vandalized. This Perplexing Times exclusive takes you inside the Caper's Caper.
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 Slushy Harvest Season Begins
Tuesday, November 25 @ 01:00:00 PST
I woke up the other morning to a most peculiar miracle. I couldn't imagine what would make bath bubbles fall from the sky, and it didn't add up. It wasn't until I got outside that I understood what was on the ground... original recipe slushy.
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 Finding Brendo
Saturday, November 22 @ 03:00:00 PST
The latest heartwarming tale of father and son is available now, but not in stores or on DVD. It is only available here and within your own family.
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 Brother Likely Replaced by Pod-Brother
Friday, November 21 @ 03:00:00 PST
Citizens beware! there is odd plus kooky danger afoot and aface. The trouble surfaced this morning when my own brother was clearly not himself, believed to be victim to alien control or substitution.
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 Indoor Birdbath Off-Limits
Tuesday, November 18 @ 03:00:00 PST
I like birds and I like birdbaths. What a great communal chill spot for my chirpy friends of the air. I believe my love is common based on the fact that every home I've seen has at least one birdbath inside despite the prevailing absence of birds.
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