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Breaking News
 Table Guest Lambasted for Risky Self-Excusing
Tuesday, July 04 @ 02:00:00 PDT
I enjoy eating my dinner without complaint as much as the next guy, but in my case, the next guy is my pre-kindergartener brother Brendan, so sometimes enough is enough with the nuggets of most curious chicken already and I'm ready to move on to the next big thing in my day.
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 Suspects Named in Attempted Tooth Fairy Theft
Monday, July 03 @ 03:00:00 PDT
City, ST -– Local citizen, Brother Patrick, has suffered the ravages of old age, and yesterday lost his second tooth. Although the first tooth has already been regrown to a limited extent, this new gap remains wide open. What's more shocking than the loss of teeth is the attempted theft of Tooth Fairy delivered revenues by a suspect now known to be Miss Mama-Lady.
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 BuyJake.com Advances Toddler Careers
Sunday, July 02 @ 10:00:00 PDT
Last month we had the uncommon opportunity to learn about another young industrialite putting his playtime on hold long enough to earn a few shekels for his future. Sure, he’s not as famous as the famous Jeremy from Who Is That With Jeremy, but he’s a real trooper just the same, and we simply had to talk with him, to learn his secrets and figure out what makes him tick.
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 Parents Fret “Us Children Left Behind” Program
Tuesday, June 27 @ 02:00:00 PDT
I don’t know how it happened but summer break is here again. Normally students really look forward to the summer break, but I didn’t have much of a school year, and I love going to school, so for me it’s not so fun. What’s worse is that I really need my schooling and my parents are getting fed up to the gills I didn’t even know they had with this school district.
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 Curious Dog Killed the Fax
Saturday, June 24 @ 02:00:00 PDT
Something bad has happened around the house and I can’t imagine how it went down. Rumor has it our fax machine was being moved, and in the process it was stored on the floor, and that it is not working any longer. I suspect the old adage is at work, you know the one: the curious dog killed the fax.
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 Kids Accidentally Demand Further Kid-Proofing
Friday, June 23 @ 02:00:00 PDT
Earlier today we were put in our toy room for a staff meeting where we were expected to mind our own business -- we have quite a bit of it these days -- while watching our generic puppet sing-along video, but an unnamed staff member tipped off our handlers who rushed up mere minutes later to find us further abusing our household policy of complacency towards climbing safety.
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 Singular Journalist Allegedly Now “Two”
Sunday, June 18 @ 02:00:00 PDT
We knew something was special about the day when we first got up, but we didn’t know what it was. Technically the landmark date had already passed in the middle of the week, but who could be sure of it without a big festival to mark it properly. It was a birthday party, and it wasn’t mine. Apparently one of my staff writers just turned two years of age.
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 Road Project Successful Due to Moral Support
Saturday, June 17 @ 03:00:00 PDT
I don’t know whose idea it was, but somebody came up with a real humdinger of a genius in the decision to repave the road in front of our house. It wasn’t easy and I’m sure it wasn’t cheap, but thanks to neighbors like us giving it the old pre-college-try, we all pitched in and made it happen, though most of us indirectly.
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 Investigative Journalists Proves “My Nose” Theory
Friday, June 16 @ 02:00:00 PDT
I’ve been working as an investigative journalist now for well over 2-years, but when it comes to difficult assignments such as proving the existence, location and label for my own nose, I’ve had an uphill battle, and one I hope to settle today once and for all.
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 Carney Games a Poor Investment
Tuesday, June 13 @ 08:00:00 PDT
Our office is centrally located just north of a major US city in an urban neighborhood that is ideally situated for shopping, commerce and as fate would have it, traveling carnivals that underpromise as much as they fail to deliver.
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