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More Perplexing Articles . . .
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 Invisible Pillows Sweep the Market
Posted Friday, August 06 @ 19:00:00 PDT by Brendan
If you're like me then you're skeptical of new products to hit the market yet remain fully willing to put them in your mouth and/or slap them around. When I first heard about invisible pillows I thought they were akin to low-carb water, and they are, only better |
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 Stop, Drop, I Can Roll!
Posted Thursday, August 05 @ 18:00:00 PDT by Dominic
I'm a real reporter around here so the editor has started giving me assignments. This job was to write a review about immobility in contrast to mobility. It's hard because I can move but not move around. Until now. That's right, stop and drop because I can roll! |
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 Potty Doable Diapers Preferable
Posted Wednesday, August 04 @ 14:00:00 PDT by Brendan
I don't know who's idea this stupid article was but I'm a professional so here it is.You investors can't black- nor yellow mail me with your intimidation tactics. I know you'd save money if I made a (literally) clean break from the diaper, but that's not my gig. |
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 Toys Cool; Spoon, Spatula Far Cooler
Posted Monday, August 02 @ 02:00:00 PDT by Brendan
I know what you're saying, "don't you have some nice toys to play with?" The simple answer is yes, but toys get old. It's the forbidden fruits of the kitchenesque vine that tempts this Adam to do the unthinkable. |
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 Poppicles Defeat Heat, Redefine Sugar Consumption
Posted Sunday, August 01 @ 09:00:00 PDT by Brendan
I wanted to get out but mama wanted to tow me rickshaw-style over the sweltering heat of our suburban sidewalks. Despite her passionate dragging and consolatory words all I could think was "it's too hot" and "my voice sounds funny vibrating like this." |
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 I Got A Lov-a-ly Bunch of Chicken Pox
Posted Saturday, July 31 @ 03:00:00 PDT by Brendan
Medical science, you wicked old Stockholm dungeon master, you've done it to me once again. I got an immunization shot to forever protect me from chicken pox, yet here I am just two weeks later with a pan-body spattering or red dots and a fever to boot. |
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 Cerebral Wit Defined by Hysterically Funny Face
Posted Friday, July 30 @ 21:00:00 PDT by Brendan
I know I've reported on it before but I just gotta do it again. That Mr. Dominic Benjamin is a humorist the likes of which I've never met. Forget dad, forget me (but only briefly) and forget all those fuddy dinosaur types you see on Last Comic Standing. This guy's got more "it" than Stephen King.
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