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More Perplexing Articles . . .
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 Freezer Purchase Inspires Forbidden In-Climbing
Posted Thursday, February 02 @ 02:00:00 PST by Brendan
Our staff goes through a real record amount of foodstuffs over the course of any month, week, day, minute or even (as it averages out) second. In order to bring our office's catering budget back in check (as those guys really are on the hook to feed us 24-hours a day) we decided it would be smart to go out and get our own chilly deep-freezer. It was deep indeed, and all I wanted to do was climb inside, something I'm now told I'm not allowed to do. |
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 Writer In Touch with Inner Whiner
Posted Wednesday, February 01 @ 02:00:00 PST by Dominic
I've spent the majority of my life being a good boy. I've stood by when brothers throw their fits, ignored the madness when the house is up in arms of injustice about nap and candy times, and otherwise been a kind and amiable kid, but those days simply have to end. This week begins my heritage of trouble and I offer no apologies and welcome all the benefit being impossible may grant me. |
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 People in Glass Houses Shouldn't Stow Thrones
Posted Tuesday, January 31 @ 01:00:00 PST by Dominic
There are ever more and more figures of speech I hear thrown around from time to time, but from my throne I only hear just a few and regard even fewer of them still. You know how it is, a pound of advice is only worth an ounce of experience so, for me, my ounce this week came in the form of being magnetically locked in a glass house and I now better understand at least, at most and at worstedly best one of these so-called Figaro’s of speech. |
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 New Board Game 'Candyland' Needlessly Complicated
Posted Monday, January 30 @ 02:00:00 PST by Brendan
Sometime back we got a new board game. Now mind you, we've never had much occasion to play such sorts of games. We prefer tag, slap-tag and triple-slap-chase tag, but we were ready for the complicated step up to the next level. We just had no clue how needlessly complicated this new fangled "Candyland" game would be. I have to tell you, it's many, difficult rules have me stumped all around. |
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 Pencil Poke in Eye Narrowly Edges Out Sharp Stick
Posted Sunday, January 29 @ 02:00:00 PST by Dominic
I don't like naps, but I agree to take them. I don't like vegetables but I can be convinced to chew up a few before spitting them out again. All these things beat a poke in the eye with a sharp stick, or so I've always been told, and so does being poked in the eye with a sharp pencil, but only just barely. |
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 Carnival Mirror Makes Dressing, Grooming Nearly Impossible
Posted Saturday, January 28 @ 23:00:00 PST by Brendan
I like to blame all the problems in my life on other people and the rules imposed on me by outside forces such as "the law" or maybe "parents," but of whom seem to assert that just taking whatever you want from the shelves of stores is somehow wrong, that it costs money, and that I'm trying to "steal," even though I don't understand such things. In this case, however, the blame falls squarely on my small, angular shoulders. I was the one who picked out the mirror and it's turning out to be a real problem indeed. |
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 Double Bathtub Offers Cleanliness, Dish Soap
Posted Friday, January 27 @ 02:00:00 PST by Brendan
In our ever-progressing culture of cleanliness and personal hygiene, I’m always on the lookout for the next big thing. I’ve welcomed the anti-bacterial gel (assuming it’s accompanied by a cartoon spokesman or at least some fun, guttural scrubbing noises,) but what I’ve discovered this week trumps them all quicker than Captain Comb-Over can shout “you’re fired!” |
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