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More Perplexing Articles . . .
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 College Fund Demanded by Collection Scammer
Posted Thursday, August 03 @ 09:00:00 PDT by Brendan
Throughout the entire heritage of Perplexing Times, we’ve never, ever, ever run a slam article about anyone ever, under any circumstances. It’s not that we don’t experience frustrations in life, we do, it’s more a matter of principal. Unless your business infringes directly on our ability to do what we do, we ain’t going to say boo about it… today we have to say boo, because it just got personal. |
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 Department Store Dogs Amazingly Unresponsive
Posted Wednesday, August 02 @ 02:00:00 PDT by Brendan
I've seen dogs in settings from the 4H stand at the fair to the pet store to the poopiest of canine-walking park, but I'd never seen such a thing like these woofers at the department store I saw just this week. I'm sure they're well trained and all, but they aren't much fun. |
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 Heat Wave Crests on Home, Tsunami of Sweat Ensues
Posted Tuesday, August 01 @ 03:00:00 PDT by Brendan
It's been a week more deeply trying than trying to fathom the depth of the hottest week. I've traveled half the world, but I've never been hot the way I've been this week, and although I'm not "dying" exactly, I also can't say I've worn anything more than my skivvies in as long as I can recall. |
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 Study Finds Masses Can't Understand Gibberish
Posted Monday, July 31 @ 02:00:00 PDT by Brendan
We've been working on this study for many years now. It's our endless quest to find people in the world-at-large who can understand the plainly spoken, well articulated and otherwise flawless and fluent language that is spoken by so many of my peers; I'm talking about the language known as Total Gibberish. Today, sadly, our world-at-large failed once again. |
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 Perplexing Times Announces Quality/Quantity Shift
Posted Friday, July 28 @ 02:00:00 PDT by Brendan
As we're approaching our landmark 1,000th article, we're excited to announce a dramatic shift in our longstanding publication schedule. Effective this week, Perplexing Times is delighted to announce an improvement to our breakneck pace of news and review articles. |
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 Boy-Toys Seek Companions, Don't Understand 'Boy Toy'
Posted Thursday, July 27 @ 02:00:00 PDT by Dominic
Three professional, ambitious, exceedingly handsome young men have made it perfectly clear that they wish to be boy-toys in an article published on the internet. Although that article published on the internet is actually this article published on the internet, the bigger concern is that the aforementioned boys don't actually have any understanding of what a "boy toy" is. |
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 Juleaster Fireworks Beautifully Terrifying
Posted Wednesday, July 26 @ 02:00:00 PDT by Brendan
I knew my day wasn't done when I rubbed my eyes back open from my prolonged late afternoon nap. I slept well after the first half of my candied day and didn't even wake up with a killer candy hangover as expected. With the sweets and bunnies behind me it was time for the barbecue half of my day. |
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