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More Perplexing Articles . . .
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 Contemporary Food Etiquette Impossible
Posted Friday, April 13 @ 01:00:00 PDT by Brendan
There are those who look back longingly to Elizabethan times when men were decent, women were proper, and only poor hygiene and vermin ran more rampant than the already widespread afflictions of cholera, plague and the ubiquitous poverty of the times. |
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 Chrysler Aspen a Big Great Car, Not a Great Big Car
Posted Thursday, April 12 @ 23:00:00 PDT by Brendan
We're asked from time to time to perform a review of an exciting automobile that may be of interest to parents. We've covered the Ford Explorer and the Volvo XC90, and today we're talking about the Chrysler Aspen. In short, it's a big, great car, though not a great big car. |
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 Robot Decimates Neighborhood Home
Posted Wednesday, April 11 @ 02:00:00 PDT by Dominic
It was an otherwise quiet Monday morning when the rumble roused me out of bed. We saw "no parking" signs just the night before, but what woke us up was beyond belief. The elderly neighbor-folk sold their enfancified home, polished and painted to at least eight of the nines, but once the new buyer took possession, the robot came in and nothing would ever be the same. |
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 Daily Columnists Back on Track
Posted Tuesday, April 10 @ 02:00:00 PDT by Brendan
After the longest break in our publishing career, Perplexing Times is delighted to announce that we're back on track. I don't know which track and I've never actually heard that figure of speech before, but my publicist assures me it's the right thing to say, that it has meaning and that you people will totally get it. |
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 Eggriculture Less Hunting-Based than Gathering
Posted Monday, April 09 @ 04:00:00 PDT by Brendan
Despite my frequent monkeying around, I'm not a lesser evolved primate. I know that because I know art, but as much because humans didn't come from apes. It's not just that I'm more bald and less likely to wear a diaper, but because evolution takes more than 6,000 years, but either way, I know I'm more of a gatherer than a hunter, and Easter eggs veritably prove it. |
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 Toddler's 'I Am Buzz Lightyear' Theory Seemingly Confirmed
Posted Monday, April 02 @ 02:00:00 PDT by Dominic
For as long as I can recall, I've been a big fan of all things Buzz Lightyear, and I've myself even wished to be one of him. I don't mean one of his kind, as a Star Command cadet, per se, but as an actual, factual Buzz Lightyear. Today, in accordance with my wishes, it would seem, my wishes, assertions and insistences have finally become true in falsifiable ways… Falsifiable, yes, but still proven very real and true. |
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 Despite Contraindicators: Daddy is an Idiot
Posted Sunday, April 01 @ 05:00:00 PDT by Dominic
I'll entertain the remote possibility here that I may be tired, a tad grouchy or that my usually infallible judgment may be somehow impaired, but as a slightly tired, slightly grouchy individual, regardless of the feelings of mine I may later regret, I've got something to assert right now, and that thing is that my dad is an idiot. |
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