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More Perplexing Articles . . .
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 Reporter Investigates, Determines 'This Happens'
Posted Friday, June 22 @ 02:00:00 PDT by Brendan
There are a number of mnemonic devices I've used over time to keep my business straight, but with all the things I've learned over time, and all the things I've experienced as it's pertained to the silly-butt time's in which I've spent to dedicate to these such times upon which I've used to lend to such times, I cant say for sure I know too many things, but I do know this; things have indeed happened, and even if just remotely so, I'm here to reassure you; stuff happens. |
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 Birds of Prey Lack Prayer-Required Steeple Fingers
Posted Thursday, June 21 @ 02:00:00 PDT by Dominic
The Woodland Park Zoo has all kinds of animals, some better named than others, some more interesting than others, and some more likely to climb forward and tap the glass, even though us humans kindly request they not do so (it spooks us a bit, you see). But the birds of "prey," if you can call them that, don't even have the fingers they need to interlock, so good luck getting them into heaven. |
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 Journalist Reportedly Naked, Modestly Chubby
Posted Wednesday, June 20 @ 02:00:00 PDT by Dominic
In this, my first full-frontal appearance in publication, it has been argued (easily) that I may be a tad of a chubby bunny, despite a conspicuous lack of marshmallows in my cheeks, but it's not just something I'm "not ashamed" of, it's something I'm straight-up proud of. |
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 Associate Friend-Heads Still Entirely Blurry
Posted Tuesday, June 19 @ 02:00:00 PDT by Dominic
We've gone a long way, but apparently we haven't come a very long way, and these days, it would seem, the way that we've come has only gone as far as our own ability to attend a more-or-less public birthday party. It's fun, at least as far as it comes to us going to the parties, but I'm really starting to worry about my friends and the blurry/clear status of their faces. |
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 I'm Not a Huge Dork, but I Play One on the Web
Posted Monday, June 18 @ 02:00:00 PDT by Dominic
You may recognize me as the Dominic Benjamin from the popular internet sensation Perplexing Times, where I play the web's Dominic Benjamin, the junior journalist on that very same top website. I'm not a huge nerd, but today, I play one on the Internet, and only for your enjoyment. I don't have a product to pitch, but boy if I did, and this was relevant, this would really be something, don'tcha think? |
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 Duck! (There's a Bear at the Zoo)
Posted Friday, June 15 @ 02:00:00 PDT by Dominic
We love our local zoo, and not just because they're so old, prominent and conscientious in conservation that they're world-renowned and even own the URL zoo.org, but because they're local, fun, and still spend the odd zillions to insure that all the critters get exhibits that are as natural as possible. That's well and good, but the bear better duck, because there's fowl in the splash-around, and it's quacking crazy! |
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 Eldest Maintains Oldest Appearance to Youngerlings
Posted Thursday, June 14 @ 01:00:00 PDT by Brendan
Call me juvenile, but I just call myself "young" and, as the middle-youngest of the pack, there's a certainty I've decided and that's that no matter how old I get, Patrick will always appear "old" in my memory, and Dominic will always be "the baby," come what may. I see pictures of myself as a baby, and I insist it isn't me, it's simply got to be Dominic. |
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