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More Perplexing Articles . . .
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Loch Ness Monster Discovered
Posted Sunday, August 17 @ 08:00:00 PDT by Brendan
The Loch Ness monster, long sought by scientist, tourist, conspiracy theorist and general weirdo alike, has finally been found. The creature was discovered and subsequently photographed at a local park during a routine playground inspection at a birthday party. |
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Long Lost Twin Found at Day Spa
Posted Saturday, August 16 @ 06:00:00 PDT by Brendan
There are few who wouldn't agree that I'm the hardest working baby in journalism. With that said, I have no problem admitting that I enjoy taking time to unwind from the work-a-day grind. Just the other day, I was at the day spa. I was just settling into the hot tub for a hot rock bath and scalp massage -- more of a tepid rock bath, but the principle still applies -- when who should I come across? I couldn't believe my huge blue eyes. |
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Hippy Days Are Over
Posted Friday, August 15 @ 07:00:00 PDT by Brendan
My whole life I've been what you might call a stinking hippy. My actions, my behavior, all of it and now that all has changed; before I was every one of the following things: |
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Male Pattern Baldness Myths Dispelled
Posted Thursday, August 14 @ 05:00:00 PDT by Brendan
As a single and reasonably attractive young man, I like to stay up to date on fashion trends, fitness and things related to maintaining general good looking youth. With all the commercials on radio and TV bombarding us guys, constantly trying to pedal hair restoration jellies, pills, creams, and aerosol spritzers, I decided to check it out on my own. |
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Does This Hat Make Me Look Gay?
Posted Wednesday, August 13 @ 09:00:00 PDT by Brendan
I have a lot of hats but this is one of my very favorites. It fits well, shades my eyes when needed, flips up when hot, breathes well in the heat and it's reversible to boot. It's good quality, good design and high fashion. Did I mention it doesn't taste half bad either? |
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Confounded Keys Won't Open a Darn Thing
Posted Tuesday, August 12 @ 07:00:00 PDT by Brendan
Keys, right? Use them to lock stuff, unlock it, start your car and whatnot, right? So my editorial assistant and general gopher, "Dad," has keys to all my stuff. My car (since he's my driver), my home, and even my office. Makes sense, right, since he does all the menial tasks for me so I can be free to pursue my work. |
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'Too Cute For My Own Good,' Can Ya Help a Baby Out?
Posted Monday, August 11 @ 06:00:00 PDT by Brendan
Last Wednesday YAHOO! bestowed a great honor upon my newspaper. The honor of Yahoo Pick of the Day, and what a treat that was. I got so many new readers and so many kind words that day. Some of these letters have even been added to my mission statement. But even shiny stuff that's pretty can be a sword, specifically a double-edged one*. |
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