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More Perplexing Articles . . .

New Guy Keeps Sucking Up to Mom
Posted Monday, June 28 @ 01:00:00 PDT by Brendan
As the former beneficiary of the Special Treatment committee and current chairman of the jealousy committee, I know that being in good with the elder types is where it's at.

Toddler Busted for Domestic Climbing Infraction
Posted Sunday, June 27 @ 02:00:00 PDT by Brendan
Oh man am I in hot water now. As sure as I can mutter "up," I have a love for all things being "up" and this isn't my first time biting off more than I should climb.

Gender Bent Baby Barks Up Wrong Trunk
Posted Saturday, June 26 @ 01:00:00 PDT by Dominic
I knew Hey Mama said she was taking a shower but when this daddy type picked me up to calm me down I didn't notice what was wrong. It wasn't until I tried to latch on for brunch that it really hit me; this isn't going to work.

Primate Crib-Evicted for Monkeying Around
Posted Friday, June 25 @ 03:00:00 PDT by Brendan
Just a couple days ago your sincerest and most trustworthy Perplexing editor-in-chief got himself into a new and deepest trouble of an unprecedented fashion the likes of which has changed my life for good. I've been evicted from my crib.

Does Grammy Count as a Stranger with Candy?
Posted Thursday, June 24 @ 03:00:00 PDT by Dominic
You can't start teaching your freshman family members too young. Dad tries to get me to say "daddy" and mom teaches me not to clean up after myself and never to take candy from strangers. All you people seem pretty strange, so does that mean I can't have any candy?

Gross Motor Skills Fine By Me
Posted Wednesday, June 23 @ 03:00:00 PDT by Brendan
One component of my hectic work-a-day regiment of toddler training is gross motor skills. Some call it occupational training, but if they don't offer job placement upon graduation I just can't agree with that label.

Monkey Seen, Monkey Just Gotta Do
Posted Tuesday, June 22 @ 03:00:00 PDT by Brendan
Oh man, check out what this older man* can do! He's like Spiderman. He digs in with his sticky hands and feet and shimmies on up. If I can see it being done, I'm ready to jump in and give it my own shot.


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